Quitting the Habit

After drinking wine disguised in a mug last weekend I decided I should do something about my habit.  I stopped drinking on Monday.

Yesterday after an argument with John, I decided a nice glass of wine would be just right, and since I hadn’t drank in two days I could do it.  I went to the store on the way home and bought a box of wine. If I needed a glass it would be there. Turns out I didn’t need it!  Yippee!

The deeper question has yet to be asked, “Is it a habit or a dependency?”

I think it may be too soon to tell.  I’ve been drinking wine every night for the past five years.  It coincided with the beginning of my medication for Bipolar II.  I used it as a way to make me feel something because the medication seemed to squash my feelings.  Now I feel great with my cocktail (no pun intended) and enough time has gone by that I have adjusted to the new me.

Of course, the ultimate goal is always to lose weight 🙂 and that side effect will be welcomed with open arms.

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Full Circle

I was going to write about my juice fast I’ve been on for four days. I say, I was, until I realized how I must be boring everyone with diet after diet.

I thought I’d write about my son, 18, who just graduated and has overnight turned into a horrible version of himself. More of the same, dull.

How about my bipolar II condition? Then I thought, do I capitalize the “b” in bipolar and do I use roman numerals for the “II” or the numeral “2”.

Obviously, sidetracked I started to write about my love of Adam Lambert and U2 (do you know I met Bono) (yes, yes, I did!).  Adam’s next (dare to dream)!

I wrote about the silly predicaments I get myself into. For instance, I kept biting the inside of my lip every time I cheated and ate on the four day juice fast (Karma I think). It’s going to take at least four days to heal!

See, somehow I have written about all the same boring things, but I have come full circle. That makes me feel better, you know, finishing things.

Here We Go Again

Oh, here we go again. I’m about to embark on another diet and exercise regimen. All in an effort to get rid of the weight that I hate to admit has been put on and is nearly impossible to get off because of my age.

I was at a party the other night when someone said they didn’t think I had a reason to worry about my weight.

“But, I’ve never been this weight” I said.

There was such an outburst of laughter and statements like “well neither have I” from six or seven women my age. I felt a little naïve.

Naïve or stubborn, I am not giving in.

My new plan is The Fast Diet. I start June 1. That will be my first fast of 500 calories day, two days a week. In between that you are supposed to eat normally (don’t know what that means anymore).

Tristan suggested cardio. Easy for him to say, at 18 he does a 9 mile hike on a whim after working all day or going to school.

For cardio I have decided to use my tread climber which I have used intermittently in the last few years. Second only to the “nine circles of hell of sweating” is the “abyss of boredom”.

The last time I used the machine I had a plan. I bought the audio book of “Fifty Shades of Grey”. I thought it might keep me interested enough to stay on the machine and burn some calories. Hey! Don’t judge! I was curious, there used to be a lot of hype around those books. I listened to it for a while and then got too embarrassed in front of myself to continue. It was more mortifying when I plugged our iPad into my computer to charge it and then later realized the book had synced with my iTunes account.

Note to self: Delete “Fifty Shades of Grey” off the family iPad.

Standing Up-Date

I know everyone has been wondering from a post a few weeks ago about my new stand up desk and how it has changed my life.

I suppose it has in a way. I now stand all day.

I’m still getting the occasional question asking how I’m getting along with it. As annoying as my “co-worker” is I know my answers repeated over and over again are getting to her (good).

“I really like it.”

“Don’t notice I’m standing.”

“Good for my back.”

“My neck doesn’t bother me anymore.”

While that is all true, it still hasn’t done what I got it for. After researching it thoroughly I found one can burn 70 – 90 calories per hour while standing.  It still hasn’t put a dent in my weight. Now I wouldn’t go back to sitting again, but how disappointing!

Bottom line, I’m no thinner, but I would certainly recommend a stand up desk anyway, it makes me look taller.

Beauty Week

This week has been all about me.

Monday I got my hair colored. Tuesday I had my nails manicured and eyebrows waxed.

Now all I need is a pedicure. The last time I did that the guy soaked my feet and then came out with a huge cheese grater for my callouses. How embarrassing! I think I’ll do my feet at home from now on.

I really like the salon I go to, well let me back up there. I really like how my nails turn out at the salon I go to. The salon has a lot to be desired. Most of the time when I’m sitting getting my nails filed a mangy shih tzu with a flat face and sleep encrusted eyes jumps up on my lap. Now don’t get me wrong I like dogs and all that, but this one really gives me the creeps. I don’t like the way it just walks around and jumps up on laps like she owns the place. I assume she is a she because of the mangled pink bow on the top of her tangled head of hair.

The mother of the owner of the salon tried to sell me a weight loss supplement last time. Her accent is so thick at least that is what I thought she was saying. She kept pointing at the packet and then at my stomach telling me I could get rid of it by drinking this stuff. Oh, yeah, that’s really something I’m going to do. I have a cocktail of psychiatric drugs flowing through my system, but I would try a concoction with a friendly face and lotus blossoms on the front just to lose a pound. I know you are thinking I considered it; well I did, but only for a minute! Honestly. And when she’s not pedaling weight loss magic she’s selling egg rolls.

Today was for my beautiful brain; I went to see my psychologist.

Standing Up

In an ongoing attempt to get rid of the “middle aged spread” I am getting a stand up desk at work. The office is a buzz with this new piece of futuristic equipment!  I’m not sure why it is such a renegade idea.  So many professions stand all day long.  Waitresses, pharmacists, factory workers, cashiers…the list could be as long as this page.

It hasn’t come yet, but I am getting ready for it’s arrival.  I have ordered a chef’s mat with shock absorbent qualities and arch supports for my shoes.  Not only will it help my health (weight) it will solve that annoying problem of getting up and down from my chair every two minutes to help a student or a parent at the counter.

The anticipation of it’s arrival is killing me!  I’ll let you know as soon as it arrives and begins to transform my life in every aspect!

The Creamer and Wine Diet

By popular demand, imagined or not, I must release my diet plan to the clamoring masses.

Here is how I do it:

6:00 am 

Wake up and have one cup of coffee with hazelnut creamer. I love creamer and I am willing to sacrifice food calories for it.  I should get it delivered in a keg, have it on tap.

7:30 am

Coffee and creamer again at the office.

9:00 am

Yogurt, the best kind is the one where the water is sitting on top.  You are so starving by this time it could be mold and it wouldn’t matter.

11:15 am

Lean cuisine or a salad for lunch.

4:00 pm

Eat only protein like chicken breast in the evening for dinner and some veg. Just eat before 5pm. If it is after 5pm well I’m sorry you are screwed and hungry.  Buck up.  Wait until 7:00 pm.

7:00 pm

Drink two glasses of wine, spread it over a couple of hours. Like the creamer, I love wine and am willing to give up that meatball sandwich in order to have it. Sacrifice, that is what it is all about in dieting. You may omit the wine, I can’t or won’t, but to each his own.

Don’t expect to be able to keep this up indefinitely, prepare yourself for a break down and eat a piece of bread or a bowl of cereal after 4-5 days.

Disclaimer: I am the only one that endorses this plan.