Tag: humor

Momentary Setback

Published on by cmglife

What a monumental task it is to get into the groove of your life after a setback. Everyone has different setbacks and I’m sure there are some people who have no setbacks or at least will never admit it to themselves.

My setbacks always seemed to have to do with mood swings which I used to put down to PMS. It is amazing all the things a woman with undiagnosed mental illness can blame on the ebb and flow of normal female hormones.

The recent setback I had was going off Abilify. My doctor thought he might be duplicating the effect of medication because he had just upped the dosages on two of the others I’m taking. We agreed to try it.  I was all gung ho because I wondered if it was the reason for my weight gain.  He didn’t have to ask me twice!

I was fine for the first week except for the withdrawal symptoms, excessive sweating and dizziness. I was asking everyone in the office; is it hot in here or is it me? They were all convinced I was having premenopausal hot flashes.

Luckily, I had asked my doctor the last time I had a bout of depression what were the signs to watch for. I can’t decipher the difference between what I’m feeling and what should be normal. He gave me a simple parameter to follow: If you feel like you don’t want to wake up the next morning it’s time to call me.

This time I was feeling a lot of anxiety and depression, but as usual I wanted to be macho and try to face it. Again, what is me and what is normal? I started taking the Abilify again last Saturday and I am already looking back in amazement. The person I am today, literally today…October 27 and the person I was last week are like night and day.

I am constantly grateful that I am living in this day and age, found the right doctor and have health insurance.   Life is good.

Saving the Big Bucks at Sephora

Published on by cmglife

I’ve started to save money to go to England again.  I’ve been trimming all over the place. I stopped getting my nails done. I’m going to try to color my own hair. Cutting back on clothes will be easy because I refuse to go up a size and right now that is where I am.   Shaving off dollars here and there will allow me to get to my goal.

The decision to save has set off a domino effect of expenses.

My soda stream broke! I suppose I can do without it, but why should I have to? I work very hard,  I should be able to enjoy the finer things in life like homemade sparkling water, shouldn’t I?

My laptop crashed, big time. It’s about 4 years old and the screen is being held to the body with mustache patterned duct tape I borrowed from Allison. I tried to turn in on. It said “bleep” and was gone.

Lost my camera. I laid it down at the park and didn’t realize until the other day!

Those are the things I didn’t have any control over. The problem also lies with things I can’t control myself from.

Two weeks ago I was in need of new liquid foundation. I had originally planned to go to Walgreens. That was a step up from Walmart, but I thought I was worth it. So, of course, I ended up at Sephora instead. Emily decided to get her makeup matched by a computer and applied by one of the make up artists. I jumped right in and ended up looking “five” years younger with the new color, so I was told. $98 dollars poorer, we left.

Then here comes Tristan’s girlfriend’s birthday, she is turning 18. I felt like I should get her something. Of course, I pulled up Sephora on my new laptop and found a great fragrance sampler. On the top of the screen it read that if I spend $25 more I can get free shipping. Well, I did really want that mascara that promises to make people think you have false eyelashes. I tried some of Emily’s and it made my lashes look like they had been glued on.  $78 poorer, order confirmed.

Feeling guilty about my purchases I went to the liquor store to get wine.  After perusing and brooding the selection, I ended up punishing myself with a box of Franzia, $13.99.

 

 

 

Fashion Backward

Published on by cmglife

I have gone astray of fashion since gaining weight. It’s a real shame. It happens to a lot of women, but I didn’t think it would happen to me.

I am hopeless when going shopping for myself. I like the look on the mannequin, but in the dressing room it never works. I usually go back to the old faithful t-shirts and jeans.

I love shopping with my oldest daughter because she will tell it like it is. “Oh, no, Mom” and “No, no, no, Mom” she’ll say when I’m trying on clothes. On the other hand, I ended up with a maxi skirt because of her.

On a recent visit we went to the mall. I tried on a pair of new running shoes to start walking when I got back home. They were very “current”.  I tried on a pair of light grey.

Looking at myself in the mirror I said, “I like them”.

“No, they are too close to your skin tone,” Emily said. She later apologized in between fits of laughter of likening me to a zombie.

I bought a different color running shoe, head bands and a scarf. I was ready to set some trends of my own or at least follow them.

On the morning of going to the airport Emily put my hair in a messy bun. I put on the head band and the scarf over a t-shirt. I looked nice. Allison wanted to know why I was so dressed up.

Unfortunately, I realized another great use for the scarf; crumb catcher. God knows how many people I had encountered with the popcorn I had eaten three hours earlier caught in my fashion forward scarf.

You can’t take me anywhere.

Tiny Brush

Published on by cmglife

My hair is getting too long. I’ve never had it long before so I thought I would go for it and just let it grow. Well, now it is to the middle of my back. Not only is it getting a little stringy on a good day, when I do curl it I look a little like the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz. Remember when they go to Oz for the makeovers?

Today after I got out of the shower I towel dried my hair and then looked for my brush. My brush was missing…again. This is the phenomenon that happens to mothers when their girls reach the age of primping. Common missing items are tweezers, razors, shampoo, makeup and, of course, brushes.

This is the brush I ended up using. I found it by digging around in the bottom of the bathroom drawer.

tinybrush

I don’t know if it is obvious from this photo, but my toothbrush is longer than this tiny compact “purse” brush.

“Pathetic”, I say.

Damn! Lost Again!

Published on by cmglife

 

I’ve gathered a few more new more songs lately.  I should say that I didn’t dare share them with my oldest daughter, but I did.  The reaction I got was not what I expected.  I mean, I guess I really thought she would like at least one of them.  Why do I never learn? Isn’t there a saying “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

I downloaded a couple of songs from a band I had heard of recently.  I don’t remember how I stumbled upon them.  The one I decided to play for Emily was a ballad, a love song of sorts.  I thought the soft voice he was singing in was a nice change from the rawness of the other two songs I have of theirs.

Laughing, Emily said, “Oh my god mom, he is so gay!  What is your fascination with gay bands lately?”

“What? Why? Why do you think he is gay?”

“I can just tell!”

So I said, “Well, let me play you another one of their songs!”

I was going to show her that there is no way you can know if someone is gay (or the whole band for that matter) by that song.  Now all along I know at least the lead singer says he is, but I wasn’t going to let her in on it.

I obviously also have a little competitive streak in me. I didn’t expect to get into a sexual persuasion war, but yet there we were.  What was I trying to prove anyway?  I’m not sure really. I was, as usual when it comes to my music, offended because she didn’t like what I liked.

I played for her the song, which was opposite of the song she just listened to.

“It’s not my fault I look better in her party dress,” he sang.

THAT WAS THE FIRST LINE!!  Damn…why didn’t I remember that?!

Time for Bed

Published on by cmglife

My husband just came home and ruined the little cave I have built tonight. It’s not his fault, he has a right to come home.

My cave consists of a glass of wine, putting head phones in the computer, listening to my iTunes and writing about what usually starts out as nothing and sometimes ends up as something.

I’ve been in my cave a lot more than usual lately because Allison has been at a friend’s for a week.  It’s been a very comfortable and well-deserved hibernation for me.   Now, the time is getting later and later to start though because of summer break. Allison’s bedtime for school used to begin at 8:30 pm or so and now it is 9:30 – 10:00. Actually, I have been trying to remember to call it “time for sleep” because “time for bed” sounds too babyish and Allison is certainly not a baby as I’m constantly being reprimanded for. That doesn’t sound right to her either and I get an eye roll.

How about “time to go to bed”, “time to retire” or maybe she would rather it be what my mother called it for years “time for bobos”? No, that shouldn’t generate an eye roll or a sound like a tween cat coughing up a hair ball!

 

 

 

What Next?

Published on by cmglife

A little confused tonight as to how to look at my life. It’s been four years since I set out on this journey.  For the first time since then I feel really well. It’s almost what I imagined life to be. You know, being normal.

I am still a little sensitive to mood changes though. Every time I have a different feeling I wonder if it is normal or are my moods shifting again because of my “special” brain chemicals.

The depression is gone! The highs are gone! I feel regular all the time. What does that do for me? Not sure yet.

I’ve been going along at a pretty good pace. When summer break began I had a list on two sides of the paper. It has been reduced to one of those skinny magnetic grocery lists that hang on the fridge. Good for me, but what happens when I run out of things to do frantically?

I know what I’ve gained, but what I will lose?  It can’t possibly remain the same. Will I begin to lose my energy? How about the ability to write anything worth reading? Sense of humor? God, no.  Anything, but that.

 

The Sanest

Published on by cmglife

Self-confidence has never been my strong suit, but when I feel I’m right, I’m right!

This comes from a mini argument I had with Tristan. Now I realize that most 18 year old boys think they know everything. Some boys think they know more about parenting than their mothers do! Yes, that is the crux of this argument. Now we are not talking parenting him, but his little sister, Allison, aged 12.

Allison is in the throes of a rebellious phase and consequently had her galaxy phone (I never wanted her to have it in the first place) and all electronics taken away for two weeks.

She was just on the verge of getting the electronics back. Tonight I discovered she had only deleted the Instagram app, not the actual account she was not allowed to have. She had been logging onto her account from my phone! I found out because the notifications of people viewing her photos were popping up! I played around with several more punishments and let Tristan in on them. Shouldn’t have done that.

Now, the sanest one in the house doubts me! Tristan thinks I am being too hard on her, although he is the one who discovered how to track down her Instagram account. I believe he was feeling a little guilty ratting her out. Even as much as he calls her crazy and fights with her nonstop he must have felt that he had betrayed CAPA (Children Against the Parents Alliance).

I called him arrogant and he called me delusional. I said something like, “Whatever”. And the next thing I looked up from the phone and he was gone.

Had I hurt his feelings? You never know with him, he cried last year over being grounded.

I called downstairs, “Goodnight, Tristan.”

“Goodnight, Mom”

There is a reason I think he’s the sanest.

Here We Go Again

Published on by cmglife

Oh, here we go again. I’m about to embark on another diet and exercise regimen. All in an effort to get rid of the weight that I hate to admit has been put on and is nearly impossible to get off because of my age.

I was at a party the other night when someone said they didn’t think I had a reason to worry about my weight.

“But, I’ve never been this weight” I said.

There was such an outburst of laughter and statements like “well neither have I” from six or seven women my age. I felt a little naïve.

Naïve or stubborn, I am not giving in.

My new plan is The Fast Diet. I start June 1. That will be my first fast of 500 calories day, two days a week. In between that you are supposed to eat normally (don’t know what that means anymore).

Tristan suggested cardio. Easy for him to say, at 18 he does a 9 mile hike on a whim after working all day or going to school.

For cardio I have decided to use my tread climber which I have used intermittently in the last few years. Second only to the “nine circles of hell of sweating” is the “abyss of boredom”.

The last time I used the machine I had a plan. I bought the audio book of “Fifty Shades of Grey”. I thought it might keep me interested enough to stay on the machine and burn some calories. Hey! Don’t judge! I was curious, there used to be a lot of hype around those books. I listened to it for a while and then got too embarrassed in front of myself to continue. It was more mortifying when I plugged our iPad into my computer to charge it and then later realized the book had synced with my iTunes account.

Note to self: Delete “Fifty Shades of Grey” off the family iPad.

Standing Up-Date

Published on by cmglife

I know everyone has been wondering from a post a few weeks ago about my new stand up desk and how it has changed my life.

I suppose it has in a way. I now stand all day.

I’m still getting the occasional question asking how I’m getting along with it. As annoying as my “co-worker” is I know my answers repeated over and over again are getting to her (good).

“I really like it.”

“Don’t notice I’m standing.”

“Good for my back.”

“My neck doesn’t bother me anymore.”

While that is all true, it still hasn’t done what I got it for. After researching it thoroughly I found one can burn 70 – 90 calories per hour while standing.  It still hasn’t put a dent in my weight. Now I wouldn’t go back to sitting again, but how disappointing!

Bottom line, I’m no thinner, but I would certainly recommend a stand up desk anyway, it makes me look taller.