A little confused tonight as to how to look at my life. It’s been four years since I set out on this journey. For the first time since then I feel really well. It’s almost what I imagined life to be. You know, being normal.
I am still a little sensitive to mood changes though. Every time I have a different feeling I wonder if it is normal or are my moods shifting again because of my “special” brain chemicals.
The depression is gone! The highs are gone! I feel regular all the time. What does that do for me? Not sure yet.
I’ve been going along at a pretty good pace. When summer break began I had a list on two sides of the paper. It has been reduced to one of those skinny magnetic grocery lists that hang on the fridge. Good for me, but what happens when I run out of things to do frantically?
I know what I’ve gained, but what I will lose? It can’t possibly remain the same. Will I begin to lose my energy? How about the ability to write anything worth reading? Sense of humor? God, no. Anything, but that.