It’s 11pm here. Husband still isn’t home. Last week he did the same thing by saying he was running an errand and then after numerous unanswered phone calls to him he arrived 6 hours later drunk.
Oh I told him what I thought of his behavior. This is something I would have never dared to do and he would have never tolerated in the old days (pre-divorce threat). He apologized and explained how it would not happen again. I didn’t believe him. It was the first chink I noticed in his new armour.
Now here I am sitting in bed writing this. Scared and confused actually.
Is the “love bombing” over that fast? I only know about narcissists from what I have read recently. So, although I had been sucked in before, I didn’t know it was happening. I’ve been “love bombed” before as well, but it was just great to get some crumbs that I was starved for.
This seems to be a classic example of a narcissist not being able to keep it up for long.
Now it’s 11:30.
P.S. U2 is touring. I don’t care (much). That’s the kind of state I’m in right now. That really pisses me off!
I talked to my psychiatrist today. He asked how my relationship with John was going. I started to tell him and then it dawned on me that I haven’t really thought about it lately. Has it happened again? Has he lulled me into a false state of security? I started to panic and blame myself for being so stupid again, but then I said to myself, “It’s okay. “
I’m still not wearing my wedding ring. I still have the divorce papers filed. I still haven’t planned our vacation in July. I may have started to enjoy the new John because he is being very nice, loving and patient, but I cannot forget that it won’t last. It has only been 6 weeks since he said he will go for therapy. He has gone twice.
I am very suspicious that he isn’t telling his therapist the whole story. After his first visit I was asked to write two things that I would like John to do. I wrote a paragraph about how he treats me and the family. The first thing I wanted him to do is to treat us better.
John came home with a chore list from the therapist. Not a chore list of things he should work on, but a list to organize his family to do chores, literally chores. Cleaning the bathroom, kitchen etc. She must have been told by John that this was the whole reason for our problems.