Wondering…can you write something to cheer yourself up?
I need some cheering up today. It’s been an up and down week for me. I know it’s nothing new but I keep expecting it to be. Eternal optimism is a double edged sword.
I’m listening to some great music. I have wine. I actually took a break and watched an entire movie this afternoon. I did no laundry and had a good laugh with my sister.
I’ve done all the right things. I am feeling a bit better.
So, “Yes “, to my original question.
By popular demand, imagined or not, I must release my diet plan to the clamoring masses.
Here is how I do it:
6:00 am
Wake up and have one cup of coffee with hazelnut creamer. I love creamer and I am willing to sacrifice food calories for it. I should get it delivered in a keg, have it on tap.
7:30 am
Coffee and creamer again at the office.
9:00 am
Yogurt, the best kind is the one where the water is sitting on top. You are so starving by this time it could be mold and it wouldn’t matter.
11:15 am
Lean cuisine or a salad for lunch.
4:00 pm
Eat only protein like chicken breast in the evening for dinner and some veg. Just eat before 5pm. If it is after 5pm well I’m sorry you are screwed and hungry. Buck up. Wait until 7:00 pm.
7:00 pm
Drink two glasses of wine, spread it over a couple of hours. Like the creamer, I love wine and am willing to give up that meatball sandwich in order to have it. Sacrifice, that is what it is all about in dieting. You may omit the wine, I can’t or won’t, but to each his own.
Don’t expect to be able to keep this up indefinitely, prepare yourself for a break down and eat a piece of bread or a bowl of cereal after 4-5 days.
Disclaimer: I am the only one that endorses this plan.
I am exasperated. Nothing earth shattering, just irritated…generally irritated.
First off, I have the most annoying of annoying co-workers that I need to punch in his throat. The fantasy just isn’t cutting it anymore.
I want to eat carbs! I’m going to die if I don’t have a piece of bread today! If I have to have another fat free yogurt or a grilled chicken breast I’ll end up face down on the kitchen floor sobbing.
I finally love exercising. That scares and sickens me…
Every evening for the last four years (a coincidence, I think not) I’ve had a glass or two of wine. It’s become a boring habit. What other vice can I possibly replace the wine with? Cigarettes? Tried it, doesn’t work. Meth? Too vain. Sex? John couldn’t handle that much of me (wink)! Exercise? Already doing it. Whiskey? I’ll try it, but I’m not happy about it.
Just as I was getting to the stage of venom dripping from my keyboard, my family life crept in again in the form of my favorite son, Tristan. He came into the room and sat down right next to me with his laptop. I did move to the other side of the couch, but he had already cramped my style. Then there came John and he flipped on the tv to watch the game. I put my headphones on and tried to crawl back into the bitchy little cave I’d constructed. It didn’t work, couldn’t get my vibe back.
I have a feeling this mood is not over. Oh no, it is definitely is not over.
My cousin in England served me a sparkling wine last year and after more bottles than I am willing to admit to sampling, I have yet to find something comparable in this country. That’s when I came up with an idea that I could sparkle my own wine.
I used to drink wine mixed with Sprite because I breastfed my youngest daughter for so long that I had to start drinking! I figured that diluted wine would be the safest bet. This is TMI isn’t it? Still, adding Sprite to wine wasn’t exactly the thing I was looking for.
Last night I was at my sister’s. I had bought her a Soda Stream last year for Christmas. My sister carbonized some plain water and added it to my wine…it was delicious. I heard recently, that if you drink equal amounts of water with your alcohol you won’t get a hangover because you won’t get dehydrated. Well, I thought maybe if I added “sparkling” water to my alcohol it would kill two birds with one stone (I’m always looking for ways to streamline my drinking). Still, adding sparkling water to my wine wasn’t the thing I was looking for.
I had read an article called “Going Rouge with my Soda Machine”. It was like it was written for me. The author had tried sparkling his lemonade and it didn’t work out so well, something about a “mess”. He said the Soda Machine manual forbids using anything except plain water.
I’m still going to try to Soda Stream the wine straight, warning or not. Two reasons; I want to and I’m no longer breast feeding anyone.
anincidentallife.com 