Last summer, while still having ketamine infusions for my TRD, something wasn’t right.  I had gone nine weeks instead of seven and could not get on top of the depression (more about that in an upcoming post). I read that physical exercise is one way to increase glutamate levels.

After researching, Beat Saber, a VR game, was recommended.  Blocks fly to the music’s beat and you hit them away to the beat. 

It was great; for an hour, the music masked the fact that I was exercising, and sweating became a fascination. The faster I was able to go, the higher my heart rate and the more I sweated.  When it started to run into my eyes and drench my hair, I felt strangely triumphant.

Inevitably, the music the game offered began to bore me. I refused to give up, and after a few days, I learned how to upload my own songs.  I searched “best dancing songs”, and BTS came up.  I cannot sing to any of them – my Korean has never improved – but I can hum along, and I do recognize the different song titles now.

And that explains why I’m listening to KPOP. Is it similar to my Adam Lambert craze? No, I really have no explanation for that one.