I’m running on pure emotion tonight.

I’ve never given much thought to the stereotypical “woman scorned”.  I feel it now.

Granted I’ve always been emotional, but I haven’t reached this level since my teens.  You know, teenage broken heart, writing poetry etc.

When I told my dad and my sister that John ,was cheating on me,  I asked that neither of them say they weren’t surprised. They didn’t, but Ellen did say “your marriage was always bad anyway”.  That is the same as she “wasn’t surprised”, therefore I shouldn’t be as upset as I am.

When you are betrayed by your brain all your life, everything surprises you.  I hung on to him all these 27 years because I thought I loved him.  I did love him.  I do love him.  It doesn’t matter how wrong it is, I do.

God I hate him.

I do believe myself when I say I won’t go back to him.

To be able to give him the adoration his narcissistic ego needs to survive, this woman is either as needy as he is or as broken as I was.