I don’t know how I’ve been lately. It’s kind of a state of being in the past, present and future all day long.
The past is full of bad memories of being bullied into a Vegas wedding, moving to North Dakota and getting a second job to name but a few.
The present is full of resentment for the past, cringing when I see his car in the driveway and dreading when he gets home.
The future is full of fear, dread and a happiness I’m afraid I shouldn’t be feeling.
Today it’s fear. I signed the papers. 26 year marriage over in 15 minutes.
I walked out to the car afterwards. At the door I almost started to cry and then I said out loud,
“Buck up! This is what you’ve always wanted”.