Oh, where to begin. I suppose where I left off in August.
I still have my nervous clenching, now in my leg. It’s not a tapping, but a clenching. If I really concentrate I can stop it. The urge is still there, not a pleasant one, a very annoying one like an itch or when you want to pop your elbow or knuckles. I am also having trouble sitting still in general. The only time I get any relief is when I’m asleep and, of course, I can’t enjoy it.
I talked to my psychiatrist about it two months ago when it had been happening for about 6 weeks. He said it could be a side effect of the abilify. He said to see what happened with my psychologist and some relaxation training. Well I never did the relaxation training, I am a non-believer, it’s never worked for me at least.
Fast forward two months later, it’s worse and I am having more trouble controlling it. My doctor has diagnosed it as:
Akathisia – a movement disorder in which there is a feeling of inner restlessness and a strong urge to be constantly moving.
I do swear occasionally. I would love to let loose a tirade right now, but won’t in fear of offending anyone reading.
At my doctor’s backing I went off the abilify slowly. I have been totally off it now for about 5 days. Withdrawal symptoms are a crashing 4 day headache and listless/low grade depression, a little irritability, but not much else.
Since I still have the restlessness and clenching leg I started to research it on line to see if anyone else has this. I found a lot of people with it when taking abilify, some much worse than mine. I could have it in my face or arms. Mine is a little easier to conceal. The thing is that it could be permanent! I am just hoping the drug isn’t totally out of my brain yet.
This leads me to a real disappointment with my cocktail of medications I thought was tweaked to perfection. I’m also feeling a little sorry for myself.