Wardrobe Malfunctions

I’ve decided I’m going to just throw this shirt away. It’s been slipping over to one side or the other all day. I went into the bathroom and saw that my bra strap was exposed. How long has it been that way? My mind searches the last few encounters…who have I interacted with my undergarments showing?

Yeah, I’m throwing it away as soon as I get home! I’m not going to wash it, put it in the back of the closet until a few months go by. One morning on a desperate “nothing to wear day” I pull it out not remembering why I put it back there in the first place.

I’m going to throw it away tonight so I don’t innocently wear it and then look down and see my bra strap again. Then what am I to do? I have to spend the whole day adjusting and pulling the bra strap back all while trying to look perfectly normal.

I should go through my closet at the same time and throw out those pants that the button has been missing for a year! Sew it back on you say? Maybe in a former life! I will throw out that shirt that is just a smidge too low in the front and therefore having to hike it up every two minutes! I’m going to finally take out the staples of the hem of my favorite pants and replace it with two sided tape!

Yes, I’m feeling liberated already!

My cry is “NO MORE WARDROBE MALFUNCTIONS”!

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