Someone, please slap me!

I just needed to write about how I’m feeling right now.  I had to discipline my son because he not doing well in Chemistry.  What a wicked mother! Do you think so?  I hope not. His discipline is to stay home this weekend and study, catch up on sleep, clean his room etc.  Ever since he got his license he is never home.   This summer he started out a quiet kid with a couple of friends, now he has more than I can keep up with. He’s out every weekend with them.  He plays sports so he is at practice everyday and then homework is an afterthought.  He is a junior, this is no time to be slacking off.

The problem with discipline and my children is that it doesn’t agree with me.  My approach is pretty gentle, but my husband, is a knee jerk kind of disciplinarian.  I suppose our kids have needed us to temper each other.  I hope it’s worked out that way anyway.

So now, Tristan is feeling sorry for himself.  He started out yelling at me, his dad is out of town, or he wouldn’t have dared.  He stomped off swearing.  I yell after him, “If I hear you swearing again…..” What kind of a threat is that?  He was already in the basement.  Pathetic!

So after he had calmed down a bit he was back upstairs with tears in his eyes and a hitch in his voice as he pointed out how much he had already studied tonight.  Talk about pulling out my heart  through my chest!  I am always a sucker for men crying, but my own son, who just looks like a man is more than I can stand.

I did not give in.  I feel like crap.  I mean I really do.  I never want to see my children suffering at all, but when it is at my hands it feels much worse.  This all leads back to my overdeveloped sense of empathy for everyone.  I need to work  on it.  It might be too late at this point.  He is only grounded for god’s sake.  Someone, please slap me!


4 thoughts on “Someone, please slap me!

  1. It seems like you and your husband compliment each other in parenting styles. And it’s perfectly normal that you would have different ones. Often, parents don’t see eye to eye.

    I don’t have an older child, but I am a teacher. You did the right thing. Make sure you don’t give in. You would be sending the wrong message to Tristan. You would be sending the message that you are not consistent, and if he performs certain behaviors (like manipulation), then he’ll get his way. Consistency is the key to effective parenting (and teaching!)

    To ease your own suffering, make sure to give him time to cool down, and then go explain his punishment to him. Have an honest talk, and tell him that you want it to be a grown up talk without emotional fits. Make sure that he understands that these are consequences to his actions (or lack thereof), and that he is clear on the rules of the house.

    I hope it goes well for you. Keep us up to date! You sound like a wonderful mom, so don’t sweat it.


      • That’s great that you two are working together! Does Tristan know about your disorder? My son is only four, and I’m still coming up with ways to try to explain it to him. So far, he gets, “You don’t make Mommy cry. Mommy cries for no reason sometimes.” and my favorite, “Mommy isn’t angry at you. Mommy just feels angry, and it will go away soon.” But of course, we’re still working on feeling words.


      • It’s a challenge. It’s even more of a challenge to teach him not to behave like me. I know I’m a role model, but there are just some moments where I react. So, I’m ranting and raving, and he picks up on that.

        At least one day he’ll be vocal about what makes him upset! LOL!


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